Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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