bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
