I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
