Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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