Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
