I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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