He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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