1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize