How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
