this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
