Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize