I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
