Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
