this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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