you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
