i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
