Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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