I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
