I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize