Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
