me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize