get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
