Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize