sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you win again, gameday.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
