I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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