you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.