If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!