so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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