I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
