'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
