Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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