It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wish I only lived at night.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
