And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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