my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
