im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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