I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
