stop calling my apartment porn island.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
