We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
