Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize