This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
vagina is talking i cant
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
