He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
