My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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