Dual....:-)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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