i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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