thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
