To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
