Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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