Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
