I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
