"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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