i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
