How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
