When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
