I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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