Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
