I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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