Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
