Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
