we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
