Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
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