We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
