11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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