i just google imaged poop.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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