dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
