I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
accomplished twins. life is a go
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
