dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
